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language and intent
From Vol 5
(Note: Language is everything in terms of expressing our intent and our spiritual selves. When channeling, They are always searching for exactly the right word to use because the shades of difference in words changes the message we are putting out. It is also sooooo important to use the right words in the healing situation so that the true nature of the message is imparted. Sometimes this means being very direct, sometimes this means finding ways to couch the message in less direct expressions of its intent.)

Choose your words with care, to clearly express the meaning you wish to convey.

The written word often harbors a dual vibration or meaning. First is the meaning the author wishes to communicate, and second is the meaning the words themselves express. It they are at odds, the latter invariably overpowers the author\'s intent, for readers tend to use their minds to understand what they read instead of their hearts.

To express himself accurately, author or speaker\'s words must parallel his deepest meaning and intent. As concepts are sun into words, their energies actually join to form delicate clusters of waves. The energy of the author\'s meaning represents one set of waves. The energy of the words is another.

(Note: Here is an example of words used to express very troubled and pent-up emotions. Notice the emphasis of certain words especially those in capitals. What ways could this man use to release this emotion better?

Also: Journaling is one of the key forms of releasing emotions and is an essential part of releasing blocked emotional patterns such as laid out in the Forgiveness/Reclaiming Your Power exercise. It is also an essential part of the drug and alcohol addiction recovery process.)

\"The violence we are seeing in the schools today might seem new to most of America, and to the world, but not to me.

In America it is illegal to use the N word, or to say any words or deeds that a female could deem as sexual harassment. There are groups to protect certain individuals rights, but NOT the rights of so much of the rest of America, in fact the MAJORITY of AMERICANS--the AVERAGE AMERICANS.

The N word that hurts so many, generation after generation, is the word NERD. Let\'s don\'t stop there. How about FAT ASS? WIMP? PUNK ? FAG? UGLY? SKINNY? RUNT? QUEER? LESBO? any derogatory name one can imagine and has heard or SAID over the years they have been alive on this planet. In elementary school, middle school, or in high school, we all experienced it from the GOOD LOOKING GIRLS,THE HANDSOME BOYS, THE RICH KIDS, THE BIG MUSCULAR JOCKS. All get special attention from the teachers, while the rest of us underlings get treated as servants to these supreme beings. These supreme beings get away with mentally and physically and emotionally scarring the rest of the students at will, and yet no school or local government official will do a thing about it.\"

(Note: Much of what needs to be done in the healing process is to get the word out. As I have been told with my mission, first we have to get them healthy to be able to do their own missions. The key to this is keeping people aware and awake., keeping their spiritual vision open to what\'s going on. This spiritual vision is located in the pineal gland or the third eye as some call it.)

1) Peter:

It seems to me that you have discovered what it is the NWO is doing - they are

shutting down the pineal glands of humans so we won\'t perceive the change.

All things in us begin with the pineal - it is the seat of the soul. If the emails from surfing the apocalypse are right - and they look right - then the NWO is attempting to shut down the pineal. It may well be the top conspiracy actually.

As we travel through the galaxy the quality of light that hits the earth changes.

When the central channel opens - and it is opening right now - the quality of light that strikes our pineal changes also. This causes a reaction in the pineal which then moves outwards and changes the body etc. This creates the so called \'Golden Age\'. The NWO only wants themselves involved in this - they do not want us scumbags to be in on the great secret. . .

. . . The real demon is the NWO because they are trying to prevent us from seeing

the change in the quality of light that comes from the center of the galaxy. This is the opening of the channel. The alchemists used to prepare themselves for thisgreat moment using light from stained glass.

I look forward to reading your book(s). I hope we can continue this correspondence.

Yours truly, Jay

2) I read your article on chemtrails and you are very close. I have never read those emails and they appear to be written by someone who knows the truth. Remember: The quality of light dictates the quality of time. The central channel is opening. That is why they are forcing our pineals to shut down.


Sometimes the greatest healing I do is allowing people to express their hurt (without taking any of it on by getting emotionally involved). Listening is still the great healing for many people because they won\'t sit down and write so talking is their way of journaling—-if they have someone to listen to them, hopefully with an open heart. This is not a paradox, but the detached love of the Creator I talk about, not the emotionally attached heart of the lower bodies. Much of this same kind of anger still exists in kids today as chaos apparently takes over before the coming changes.)

The man releasing with his language continues:

CASE IN POINT....My life up until now--from AS A CHILD UP TO NOW A HATEFUL DEPRESSED MAN OF 54 YEARS . As a child in the fifties I was smaller then other children, poor parents didn\'t have a car until I was 18, and I bought them one from working two jobs. I was teased, humiliated, beat up, spit on, told I was worthless, and a sixth grade big female teacher would humiliate me in class because I didn\'t have the money to go on a field trip, or other activities that required me to have 50 cents or a few dollars. WE WERE POOR. I saw right away the PRETTY GIRLS and HANDSOME STRONG BOYS were treated very

well, and the poorest dumbest of us got treated like garbage--and that was that. AT age 12 just a couple months before my 13th birthday a neighborhood bully threw a rock and hit me in my left eye BLINDING ME, I was in the hospital two weeks with intense pain and the fear of losing my eye. the parents of this child said I was a liar, that their son never left the house that day, and everyone believed him, not me, an the bills added up for us. It finally healed in time for me to begin a new school in Middle School, in the early sixties, I was 5\'4\" and a little over 100 lb. I was quiet, studious, polite and only wanted love and friendship, all I got WAS HATE. THE BLACK EQUAL RIGHTS MOVEMENT was just beginning in full swing and my being a little WHITE BOY made me an easy target for the Black kids to take their hatred out on, I was beaten, thrown down stairs, slammed into my locker, and FEARED GYM CLASS and would shake uncontrollably, and never took a shower there for fear of being killed. IT WASN\'T JUST THE BLACK KIDS WHITE ONES both male and female would attack me verbally and physically because of my size. My studies failed I was getting bad grades, and tried to act tough to fit in. This didn\'t work at all. and was transferred over to HIGH SCHOOL for 9th grade with some of the other unwanted kids, and this was really HELL. FROM DAY 1 THE VIOLENCE STARTED HAPPENING. pushing shoving, hitting, being thrown down stairs, big kids holding me while a girl kicked me between the legs, my books and homework would be shredded, destroyed, and I got in trouble from the teachers, THEY WOULD NOT LISTEN TO MY FEEBLE CRY FOR HELP, but would blame me for the trouble, and listen to the lies of the girls and boys against me... THE TEACHERS DID NOT WANT TO HELP. In a study hall I sat in front of a RICH BULLY, a senior, I was a junior, still 5\'4\" a little over 100 lb. this kid grabbed me by the shoulder, spun me around and tried to stab me in my left eye with a sharpened pencil luckily I instinctively new it was coming and moved, the pencil just grazed my cheek and nose. I told this boy to PLEASE BE CAREFUL,YOU ALMOST HIT MY EYE. He said WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WAS AIMING AT? The next lunge at my eye was blocked by my left arm. I STILL TO THIS DAY CARRY THE PENCIL LEAD TATTOO in that arm where the lead broke off in me. The male teacher heard the commotion, yelled at me, would not listen to me, looked at my arm, grabbed me by the back of my neck dragged me to the office saying it was my fault, calling me names, and the huge x marine assistant school principal, yelled at me some more, grabbed me by the back of my neck, grabbed the large paddle with holes in it, bent me over and smacked me very hard on my ASS, (nice school system in OHIO ). A few days later this same rich bully in the same study hall, had two of his good looking rich bully friends grab my arms, stretch me out to where I could not even cry or

scream the pain was so great, he then grabbed my hair with his left hand, and felt the hump on my neck with his right and calmly explained to his friends and the other students HOW TO KNOCK SOMEONE OUT with a rabbit punch, a JUDO CHOP. He then commenced hitting the back of my neck with the knife edge of his hand, I slumped forward but was held up time and again as he tried to either knock me out or break my neck. The other two boys took their turn, but could not knock me out, THEY CAME VERY CLOSE and the only reason I am alive today is because anther boy came to my rescue and stopped them, all the rest of the dozens of students and teachers just laughed and walked on. There was no use in my staying in school. After that my grades were D\'s and F\'s so at age 18 in 1964 I quit. No good jobs came as I was a drop out, no one wanted to be my friend, I was filled with anger and self loathing. I got two jobs paying under minimum wage, still picked on by people, couldn\'t get a date to save my life, I turned inward to thoughts of revenge, violence, suicide. and dreamed of becoming Al CAPONE resurrected and everyone would fear me. I got a job in a factory, a steel mill, only because I showed up everyday begging for work. The only job I was given was a fork lift operator and the other men at this shop resented me as I weighed less then half of the smallest man there. Most of these steel men were 6\'4\" 250 lb. and had sons that wanted jobs but didn\'t get one there. My life was worse there than high school. I was yanked off my truck, had grease with metal shavings rubbed n my face until I bled, had grease rubbed on my steering wheel and control pedals, was threatened and pushed around, was picked upside down and dunked head first into a 55 gallon rain barrel. I WAS CALLED EVERYTHING but FRIEND. I WAS DRAFTED in 1966 but was told by a reserve unit I tried to join before that, DON\'T WORRY YOU ARE TOO SMALL AND NOT MAN ENOUGH TO BE DRAFTED AT 110 LB. WELL DRAFTED I WAS and went through hell from everybody; was told SOMEONE MADE A MISTAKE WHEN THEY DRAFTED YOU. was told I had to fight and die in Vietnam as a man, but was not given the respect of a man. I was in and out of the army hospitals with ailments, and could not endure the physical and mental torture of being robbed of my pay by the soldiers, and even though I was starting to like the army and being placed in Helicopter Crew chief School, something happened to force me to ask for a discharge after only 5 months 12 days in the service. I WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED by a non commissioned officer, an instructor of mine, that called me in to his office to explain to me that I was failing my helicopter studies and would be placed in a combat infantry division in VIETNAM. BUT HE SAID HE HAD A LIKING FOR ME AND WOULD SEE TO IT THAT I PASSED MY STUDIES, BUT I HAD TO CO-OPERATE. I said I would study hard, but that is not what he had in mind, he insisted I take a shower put on fresh clothes and meet

me on the corner of the barracks. I did and he drove me out of the fort into the woods and told me to take my pants down, I turned bright RED with fear and embarrassment, he then exposed himself and said for me to go down on him, I said no, he grabbed my belt and unzipped my pants and went down on me. I STARTED SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY and this PERVERT started to shake me and said if I told anyone he would deny it. I WOULD BE LOCKED UP IN THE STOCKADE, and shipped off immediately to VIETNAM. AT AGE 19 I BELIEVED THIS MAN OF 40 SOMETHING. Little did I know that we were followed by some of the guys from my barracks they didn\'t see what happened, but knew somehow, and I was teased and threatened and called a QUEER. At school the next day the men disrespected this non-com instructor and was taunting him in class, the INSTRUCTOR yelled at us to come to attention and DENIED THE RUMOR BEING SPREAD AROUND. I saw my life was in danger and went to the camp psychologist, shaking uncontrollably. On the bus there was a LOOK magazine with an article about HOMOSEXUALITY IN THE SERVICE I memorized it, and arrived at the psychologist and through that day and the following day told of the encounter with the non-com, BUT I BLAMED MY SELF and would not tell him HIS NAME. I repeated almost word for word the article in Look magazine, and said I was a HOMOSEXUAL AND WANTED OUT OF THE ARMY.. I learned to CHEAT and LIE TO SURVIVE. THE mustering out was embarrassing as was coming home to my small hateful town in Ohio. Back at the factory I went through more hate then anyone should ever endure, punched, kicked, humiliated. I finally decided to get revenge, I learned how to make EXPLOSIVES from common materials from old books I found, bought a carbine, a .22 semi auto rifle and thousands of rounds of ammo at a garage sale CHEAP. After that the BULLIES RULED THE DAY, but I RULED THE NIGHT, I shot up numerous CARS, TRUCKS, HOUSES, placed explosives in CARS, OIL WELLS, GAS STATIONS... ANYONE and EVERYONE from then on that ever tried to hurt me mentally or physically. I even bought two huge weather balloons mail order, filled one with HELIUM I STOLE FROM SOME DIRTY MOUTHED CARNIVAL WORKERS, and the other with a mixture of ACETYLENE AND OXYGEN, used a yard stick to hold the 2\' mail order bought cherry bomb fuse, timed the burning of the fuse, made a few calculations, lit the fuse and set it adrift over the richest area of my crappy town with it\'s well known college, and preppy bastards that caused me trouble. The explosion was a masterpiece, BLEW OUT EVERY WINDOW IN A MILE AND A HALF RADIUS. The air force got the blame for a sonic boom, DENIED IT OF COURSE. but you know how them BASTARDS LIE. It got to be that I enjoyed hurting BIG STRONG PEOPLE. and a combination of my putting LIMBURGER

CHEESE on and in a brand new FORD TRUCK owned by one of the Bullies at the Shop, and getting CAUGHT and threatened with death from falling objects at the shop, and an inquiry from the local Mafia 60 miles away to come talk to them about working for them, caused me to Move to California in 1969, WORK FOR THE MOB MY ASS, some of the places I blew up turned out to belong to friends and maybe even an enemy or two of these GOOD FELLAS, as the more evil I got the more the tough guys left me alone, knowing they would have to kill me, or I would get them. I made a friend or two that had Mafia relatives, but didn\'t want to take a chance on being made an offer I couldn\'t refuse....SO I LEFT FOR THE WEST COAST. My life out there for 23 years was pretty boring, I only got into one gun battle in the desert, don\'t even know who it was, a long distance away. Hardly messed with explosives at all there, and got it out of my system, but I am still a very hateful 54 year old, now I am still 5\'4\" but 160 lb., people still screw with me, but not as bad as when I was a kid. After roaming the country for a while I settled in Florida, bought an old convenience store, cleaned it up had 10 gas pumps, a delicatessen, sold live shrimp, bait fishing tackle ammunition. etc. etc. thought people would treat me with respect and I would make a good living...WRONG... I WAS NOW THE DAMN YANKEE CALIFORNIA BASTARD.. these swamp trash, ex cons and miscellaneous no goods all robbed me even my 6 employees stole from me. I pulled a pistol on six different men to keep them from jumping over the counter to kick my ass, had eight people arrested for bad checks, had 125 people on credit that wouldn\'t pay me, and if I asked them to pay their bills they threatened to kill me. One night in Feb 1995 someone burned me down at 1:00 am with me asleep in my upstairs 4 bedroom apartment. BEING I was out in the country by a Bayou, there was no help available, I managed to climb out an upstairs window with my clothes on my back and my ever ready TWO 38.CAL PISTOLS IN HAND. By the time the volunteer fire dept. arrived it was too late, this old old building was gone, (hell the fire trucks had no water any way). I lost over $110,000, all my worldly positions, old photos, clothes, etc. only had enough insurance to cover slip and fall and the bank for its loan.. Went through hell with the authorities and insurance company, as usual, but they finally paid the bank, but naturally I had little to show for it. It turns out a 17 year old boy in the neighborhood burned me down because I wouldn\'t sell him beer like the fella did before I owned it, but this was told me a couple years later, and I don\'t give a damn about trying to convict him. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. NOW I AM BACK IN THIS HATEFUL CRAPPY LITTLE OHIO TOWN THAT I SAID I WOULD NEVER COME BACK TO and have had some big men cause me some problems, the mayor and authorities were told by me, that either this x cop is goin to kill me or I will kill him. and it is all because he hates

women and little men. (MOST OF THE AUTHORITIES AND TOWN ARE ROOTING FOR ME) Everyone hates this man around here. I have a mental list of those big guys and a WOMAN OR 2 that I still plan on getting even with, that\'s why I am still here, as an old man it is very hard to get revenge, and some say I should just let it go. HELL NO.... THEY HURT ME AND RUINED MY LIFE. MOST OF THESE PEOPLE ARE LIVING THE GOOD LIFE. WHILE I SUFFER PAIN AND DEPRESSION AND POVERTY. If there is a moral in this story, it has to be this. FORGET ABOUT ME AND THE REST OF MY GENERATION. THE GOVERNMENT-SCHOOL OFFICIALS-CHURCH\'S-PARENTS-ALL THE AUTHORITY FIGURES-MOVIE STARS-SINGERS-DANCERS- SPORTS FIGURES- EVERYONE MUST START SHOWING RESPECT. Start teaching that everyone has a right to live, not just the pretty, strong, and rich. Stop the Miss America pageants that glorify beauty, and makes plain and average an ugly undesirable thing. get laws passed that bullies won\'t be tolerated, get people organized to boycott movies, and products that make violence against the weak acceptable make teachers and principals accountable. My life is a mess and I admit it Make sure other kids have a chance before they decide to become as bad and evil as those who drive them to it. Good luck ...Frank

(Note: Here , of course, we see a theme of so many of our lives where a downward spiral has seemingly no end. To tell you that this man is a perfect example of the karmic cycle talked about in the accompanying article, seems to perfectly illustrate the cycles of endless violence and intolerance that pass on from one lifetime to another until this gentleman detaches himself from the cycle, pulls back, and says `this is a product of my own attitude and it CAN change.\' It is also a wonderful illustration of many of the points in the following lengthy article —especially that of slavery since this man had many lifetimes been on the giving end of just such abuse.)